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Ebay may well be the world’s largest market place. Their variety is unparalleled.
Next time you’re looking for that hard to find item or trying to get your hands on that anniversary present that’s “just rightâ€, don’t even waste your time elsewhere.
If you want it, Ebay has it.
For example, if you’re lonely, you might be interested in some company:
All shapes and sizes…
A bit sad, moving right along…
If a whole woman is too much for you to handle right now, just purchase the part you have your sights set on.
Sometimes you don’t know who to believe anymore…
Humans can be more trouble than anything else. This is a bit disturbing though. Used dead pets? I like mine fresh.
And what about kids? Forget about fertility clinics and pesky childbirth:
I’m not much into changing diapers. You’re not either? Ebay’s got you covered.
They’re much more docile when they have no where to go. But if it’s hard labor you’re looking for you might prefer:
They can be hard to come by in the Northern States. Not any more!
For those who don’t speak Spanish…
Looking to really be original?
Yes folks, fascists make excellent conversation pieces at family get-togethers, just make sure you don’t keep them in the same place where you keep the
Then there are those more hard to find items:
Why make your own when it’s so simple to buy it?
Perhaps this is why you can’t sign up for Paypal if you live in Iran?
Hey buddy, you want a fat lip? No actually I’ll take a
Which one sir? We carry a wide selection of
But here’s my personal favorite. It really saved the day when I turned 25 and my shoulders were still bald…
One might be tempted to call this false advertising, but there’s no small print here:
At least you know what you’re buying.Happy Shopping!
Popularity: 51% [?]
Admittedly simple, but I giggled my whole way through that list.
Lots of free time, Alex?
Hey Guys,
Devolute: yeah I laughed while putting it together…
TranceMaker: Not really, unfortunately
it does show very clearly who buys all the top search spots for pretty much everything
Hey Carol,
Dynamic keyword insertion? The surprising thing is google allows such awful ads without flinching it seems.
I came across a couple of these a while back:
http://www.noneedforaname.net/images/feces1.jpg
Seems like a poor choice for furniture…
http://www.noneedforaname.net/images/feces3.jpg
Hey Monster,
Wow, those are excellent! Thanks for posting them.
Alex
Here’s one I snipped a long while ago…
http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/8245/enlightenmentat3.jpg
This used to work too: http://stuff.ebnj.net/funny/truelove.png
Hey Adam,
Another good one.
What about used condoms? I just ran out and Adsense is picking up on my numerous rants on Gmail.
[...] http://www.netfrontiermarketing.com/18-things-you-didn%e2%80%99t-know-you-could-find-on-ebay.html [...]
Very entertaining, Alex – and dugg it, of course. Let us know how it runs.
Haha….Ebay uses that cookie cutter ad a little too much….the looking for X? Find it on Ebay….
It makes it easy to take their spot since they often go without a fight.
But the ads are funny…reminds me of something they called “engrish” in Japan. For example, I saw a sign in front of a Japanese clothing department store that read “Used Women 2nd Floor”. Awesome!
Being Jewish myself, I’m a bit scared right now…keep up the good work.
Hey guys,
Fantomaster: I’ll definitely do an update shortly.
Rian: Yep, I swiped that vomit spot right from under their feet.
Ron: Don’t worry, they are just used fascists, all the bite has been taken out of them
Google apologizes for the “jews” search results:
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7342/jewsgoogleku5.jpg
Haven’t checked any of those on eBay, but saw some similar ads elsewhere, same stupid combinations, as long as the keyword matches the content I am searching for or looking right now. I am not a professional programmer, but started to study Internet marketing it reminds me of similar things.
My guess is that these are contextual ad generators at work, ie. simply, templates which are programmed to put every keyword in a pre-made pattern (like mail merge)… and voila, there’s a nonsense and bizzare ad, offering anything and everything, but the keyword matches with the page content. Of course, aside the fact that we can recall real people offering themselves or something theirs on the eBay, every now and then. Or that there probably are some people that would buy keywords and make such ads, hoping somewould click on them (at least for curiosity), if not
hahaha! great stuff.
Yet another worthy waste of time: Google ‘failure’ under “I’m feeling lucky”
“homosexual” also lends itself to a pretty funny somewhat clean childrens book in Dick and Jane format…
[...] This is quite a hilarious blog post showing all the stupid ads that eBay buys using Google Adsense. If you have used google, you have probably noticed that a lot of the ads that show up are eBay ads suggesting you can buy what you searched google for on eBay. This guy shows that eBay should organise some filters, as some of their ads are pretty funny. Read More for the full story.read more | digg story [...]
Definitely a lesson in taking care with dynamic keyword insertion. Reminds me of the reason I took Kontera ads off my website: too many things for sale on eBay that could get you arrested in any street in the USA.
[...] Just when you think you’ve run out of things to purchase on eBay, here comes this list of 18 things you can buy to add more meaning and joy to your life. The eBay ads shown above are just a handful. Share This Post:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]
[...] gizmos and love shoot. i KNEW i was fat. =[. i need to exercise more the future’s five major enemies the 20 best nike commercials. some of them are REALLY freaking good. funny bus ads top 10 most dangerous tourist locations of 2007 are stocks doing well? or is the dollar SUCKING cute. comma sutra facial culture bizarre planet is the hottest touchscreens in taxis hahaha, wow. didn’t know so many companies sold for less than cost a ton of business jargon how to replace destroyed or lost documents wow.. cool bonsai trees i can’t believe someone would go through all this to cheat how 3 million Germans died after VE day 18 things you could get on ebay field guide to the north american bikini [NSFW] genius junk food domino’s new pizza delivery car [...]
[...] Alex Goad wrote: [...]
Thank you, thats a nice list, it got a chuckle or two out of me.
I first noticed this about 4-5 years ago when I googled “Condi Rice” and got back something to the effect that I could buy Condi Rice at eBay. Made me think, no wonder our government is so f-ed up if you can just buy folks.
[...] 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find on Ebay. [...]
You should laugh at this with me.
http://www.netfrontiermarketing.com/18-things-you-didn%E2%80%99t-know-you-cou…
[...] Alex Goad has a hilarious post on the 18 crazy things you didn’t know you could find on Ebay – The lengths that some markers will go to spread their Ebay Affiliate Link. [...]
What a crack up ! I love it.
I just want to know who gave you permisson to be funnier than me ?
Keep them coming.
Last time I was searching, George Bush was available.
Brought to mind something a WWII vet said to me: “Americans deserve the government they’ve got, they have the best politicians money can buy.”
He was a little bitter over something that day and feeling out of sorts.
Get a life!
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http://www.eBay.com
[...] I’m sure the market demand is overwhelming. These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]
Too kewl!
I saw all those crazy results out there too but, never thought to make a post about it. keep the juices flowing!
Very amusing. The technology is available to them to stop certain terms from showing. Such as trademarked terms. I guess they hadn’t thought of terms like the ones in your post yet;)
Priceless.
Right On
If you want it, Ebay has it.
…
dude these advertising sites pay for certain words and no matter what the word is you will get someone trying to sell it…most of which after you click on them never have results
Very good post. Funny and original.
ha, ebay does sell any and everything i suppose.
[...] Google will substitute the searched keyword here in place of “Quality Tire Gauges” (our default if none of the keyphrases) with one of the exact match keyphrases shown above if they match. As you can probably guess, it’s best if you have just about every derivative of keyword covered – and that you make sure you never go over 25 characters (the current limit for the headline of an Adwords ad.) So, if a user searches for “car tire gauges” on Google, this sponsored link will appear You can also use phrase or broad matches, but keep in mind that your default text will show more often since broad and phrase maches often end up having more than 25 characters pretty often, plus, you lose control over the headline, and sometimes they can be pretty funny. [...]
18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find On Ebay
We all know you can find pretty much anything you want on Ebay. But Alex Goad of Net Fronteir Marketing has a really funny list of 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find On Ebay.
These items are all a result of some weird Google dynamic keywo…
These tips are really useful for SEO, i have also found some tips forSEO.
So how are Ebay making this worthwhile? I would have thought the click through rate would be high, simply out of curiosity, but the conversion very small. Are Ebay simply flushing money down the toilet?
Hey Nate,
The bids are etremely low and Ebay is (was) not voluntarily bidding on those terms. They just scraped together huge keyword lists including everything imaginable and used Adwords Dynamic Keyword insertion to serve ads…
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[...] DeberÃan rconfigurar mejor su cuenta de adsense… (vÃa 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find on Ebay) [...]
Are those ads off of ABC Search? I came across something similar on Kanoodle back in April: http://blog.searchanyway.com/2007/04/ebay_still_selling_slaves_msn.html