18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find on Ebay
Stumble it!
Ebay may well be the world’s largest market place. Their variety is unparalleled.
Next time you’re looking for that hard to find item or trying to get your hands on that anniversary present that’s “just right”, don’t even waste your time elsewhere.
If you want it, Ebay has it.
For example, if you’re lonely, you might be interested in some company:
All shapes and sizes…
A bit sad, moving right along…
If a whole woman is too much for you to handle right now, just purchase the part you have your sights set on.
Sometimes you don’t know who to believe anymore…
Humans can be more trouble than anything else. This is a bit disturbing though. Used dead pets? I like mine fresh.
And what about kids? Forget about fertility clinics and pesky childbirth:
I’m not much into changing diapers. You’re not either? Ebay’s got you covered.
They’re much more docile when they have no where to go. But if it’s hard labor you’re looking for you might prefer:
They can be hard to come by in the Northern States. Not any more!
For those who don’t speak Spanish…
Looking to really be original?
Yes folks, fascists make excellent conversation pieces at family get-togethers, just make sure you don’t keep them in the same place where you keep the
Then there are those more hard to find items:
Why make your own when it’s so simple to buy it?
Perhaps this is why you can’t sign up for Paypal if you live in Iran?
Hey buddy, you want a fat lip? No actually I’ll take a
Which one sir? We carry a wide selection of
But here’s my personal favorite. It really saved the day when I turned 25 and my shoulders were still bald…
One might be tempted to call this false advertising, but there’s no small print here:
At least you know what you’re buying.Happy Shopping!
Stumble it!
on May 10th, 2007 at 9:37 am ¶
Admittedly simple, but I giggled my whole way through that list.
on May 10th, 2007 at 9:54 am ¶
Lots of free time, Alex?
on May 10th, 2007 at 10:01 am ¶
Hey Guys,
Devolute: yeah I laughed while putting it together…
TranceMaker: Not really, unfortunately
on May 10th, 2007 at 10:05 am ¶
it does show very clearly who buys all the top search spots for pretty much everything
on May 10th, 2007 at 10:14 am ¶
Hey Carol,
Dynamic keyword insertion? The surprising thing is google allows such awful ads without flinching it seems.
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:14 am ¶
I came across a couple of these a while back:
http://www.noneedforaname.net/images/feces1.jpg
Seems like a poor choice for furniture…
http://www.noneedforaname.net/images/feces3.jpg
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:19 am ¶
Hey Monster,
Wow, those are excellent! Thanks for posting them.
Alex
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:50 am ¶
Here’s one I snipped a long while ago…
http://img511.imageshack.us/img511/8245/enlightenmentat3.jpg
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:52 am ¶
This used to work too: http://stuff.ebnj.net/funny/truelove.png
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:52 am ¶
Hey Adam,
Another good one.
on May 10th, 2007 at 12:10 pm ¶
What about used condoms? I just ran out and Adsense is picking up on my numerous rants on Gmail.
on May 10th, 2007 at 12:53 pm ¶
[…] http://www.netfrontiermarketing.com/18-things-you-didn%e2%80%99t-know-you-could-find-on-ebay.html […]
on May 10th, 2007 at 12:59 pm ¶
Very entertaining, Alex - and dugg it, of course. Let us know how it runs.
on May 10th, 2007 at 1:01 pm ¶
Haha….Ebay uses that cookie cutter ad a little too much….the looking for X? Find it on Ebay….
It makes it easy to take their spot since they often go without a fight.
But the ads are funny…reminds me of something they called “engrish” in Japan. For example, I saw a sign in front of a Japanese clothing department store that read “Used Women 2nd Floor”. Awesome!
on May 10th, 2007 at 1:04 pm ¶
Being Jewish myself, I’m a bit scared right now…keep up the good work.
on May 10th, 2007 at 1:16 pm ¶
Hey guys,
Fantomaster: I’ll definitely do an update shortly.
Rian: Yep, I swiped that vomit spot right from under their feet.
Ron: Don’t worry, they are just used fascists, all the bite has been taken out of them
on May 10th, 2007 at 1:42 pm ¶
Google apologizes for the “jews” search results:
http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/7342/jewsgoogleku5.jpg
on May 10th, 2007 at 4:06 pm ¶
Haven’t checked any of those on eBay, but saw some similar ads elsewhere, same stupid combinations, as long as the keyword matches the content I am searching for or looking right now. I am not a professional programmer, but started to study Internet marketing it reminds me of similar things.
My guess is that these are contextual ad generators at work, ie. simply, templates which are programmed to put every keyword in a pre-made pattern (like mail merge)… and voila, there’s a nonsense and bizzare ad, offering anything and everything, but the keyword matches with the page content. Of course, aside the fact that we can recall real people offering themselves or something theirs on the eBay, every now and then. Or that there probably are some people that would buy keywords and make such ads, hoping somewould click on them (at least for curiosity), if not
on May 10th, 2007 at 5:36 pm ¶
hahaha! great stuff.
on May 10th, 2007 at 5:40 pm ¶
Yet another worthy waste of time: Google ‘failure’ under “I’m feeling lucky”
“homosexual” also lends itself to a pretty funny somewhat clean childrens book in Dick and Jane format…
on May 10th, 2007 at 7:30 pm ¶
[…] This is quite a hilarious blog post showing all the stupid ads that eBay buys using Google Adsense. If you have used google, you have probably noticed that a lot of the ads that show up are eBay ads suggesting you can buy what you searched google for on eBay. This guy shows that eBay should organise some filters, as some of their ads are pretty funny. Read More for the full story.read more | digg story […]
on May 10th, 2007 at 7:58 pm ¶
Definitely a lesson in taking care with dynamic keyword insertion. Reminds me of the reason I took Kontera ads off my website: too many things for sale on eBay that could get you arrested in any street in the USA.
on May 10th, 2007 at 8:04 pm ¶
[…] Just when you think you’ve run out of things to purchase on eBay, here comes this list of 18 things you can buy to add more meaning and joy to your life. The eBay ads shown above are just a handful. Share This Post:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]
on May 10th, 2007 at 9:35 pm ¶
[…] gizmos and love shoot. i KNEW i was fat. =[. i need to exercise more the future’s five major enemies the 20 best nike commercials. some of them are REALLY freaking good. funny bus ads top 10 most dangerous tourist locations of 2007 are stocks doing well? or is the dollar SUCKING cute. comma sutra facial culture bizarre planet is the hottest touchscreens in taxis hahaha, wow. didn’t know so many companies sold for less than cost a ton of business jargon how to replace destroyed or lost documents wow.. cool bonsai trees i can’t believe someone would go through all this to cheat how 3 million Germans died after VE day 18 things you could get on ebay field guide to the north american bikini [NSFW] genius junk food domino’s new pizza delivery car […]
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:28 pm ¶
[…] Alex Goad wrote: […]
on May 10th, 2007 at 11:39 pm ¶
Thank you, thats a nice list, it got a chuckle or two out of me.
on May 11th, 2007 at 3:38 am ¶
I first noticed this about 4-5 years ago when I googled “Condi Rice” and got back something to the effect that I could buy Condi Rice at eBay. Made me think, no wonder our government is so f-ed up if you can just buy folks.
on May 11th, 2007 at 8:49 am ¶
[…] 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find on Ebay. […]
on May 11th, 2007 at 9:03 am ¶
You should laugh at this with me.
http://www.netfrontiermarketing.com/18-things-you-didn%E2%80%99t-know-you-cou…
on May 11th, 2007 at 10:37 am ¶
[…] Alex Goad has a hilarious post on the 18 crazy things you didn’t know you could find on Ebay - The lengths that some markers will go to spread their Ebay Affiliate Link. […]
on May 11th, 2007 at 4:20 pm ¶
What a crack up ! I love it.
I just want to know who gave you permisson to be funnier than me ?
Keep them coming.
on May 11th, 2007 at 6:14 pm ¶
Last time I was searching, George Bush was available.
Brought to mind something a WWII vet said to me: “Americans deserve the government they’ve got, they have the best politicians money can buy.”
He was a little bitter over something that day and feeling out of sorts.
on May 11th, 2007 at 7:25 pm ¶
Get a life!
Sponsored Links
A Life
Great deals on A Life
Shop on eBay and Save!
www.eBay.com
on May 12th, 2007 at 12:26 am ¶
[…] I’m sure the market demand is overwhelming. These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. […]
on May 12th, 2007 at 1:35 pm ¶
Too kewl!
I saw all those crazy results out there too but, never thought to make a post about it. keep the juices flowing!
on May 12th, 2007 at 3:27 pm ¶
Very amusing. The technology is available to them to stop certain terms from showing. Such as trademarked terms. I guess they hadn’t thought of terms like the ones in your post yet;)
on May 13th, 2007 at 11:30 am ¶
Priceless.
on May 13th, 2007 at 5:01 pm ¶
Right On
If you want it, Ebay has it.
…
on May 16th, 2007 at 12:47 am ¶
dude these advertising sites pay for certain words and no matter what the word is you will get someone trying to sell it…most of which after you click on them never have results
on May 17th, 2007 at 2:56 pm ¶
Very good post. Funny and original.
on May 17th, 2007 at 7:56 pm ¶
ha, ebay does sell any and everything i suppose.
on May 18th, 2007 at 7:05 pm ¶
[…] Google will substitute the searched keyword here in place of “Quality Tire Gauges” (our default if none of the keyphrases) with one of the exact match keyphrases shown above if they match. As you can probably guess, it’s best if you have just about every derivative of keyword covered - and that you make sure you never go over 25 characters (the current limit for the headline of an Adwords ad.) So, if a user searches for “car tire gauges” on Google, this sponsored link will appear You can also use phrase or broad matches, but keep in mind that your default text will show more often since broad and phrase maches often end up having more than 25 characters pretty often, plus, you lose control over the headline, and sometimes they can be pretty funny. […]
on May 20th, 2007 at 9:23 pm ¶
18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find On Ebay
We all know you can find pretty much anything you want on Ebay. But Alex Goad of Net Fronteir Marketing has a really funny list of 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find On Ebay.
These items are all a result of some weird Google dynamic keywo…
on May 28th, 2007 at 9:19 pm ¶
These tips are really useful for SEO, i have also found some tips forSEO.
on May 29th, 2007 at 3:49 am ¶
So how are Ebay making this worthwhile? I would have thought the click through rate would be high, simply out of curiosity, but the conversion very small. Are Ebay simply flushing money down the toilet?
on May 29th, 2007 at 3:56 am ¶
Hey Nate,
The bids are etremely low and Ebay is (was) not voluntarily bidding on those terms. They just scraped together huge keyword lists including everything imaginable and used Adwords Dynamic Keyword insertion to serve ads…
on June 8th, 2007 at 2:56 am ¶
[…] […]
on June 8th, 2007 at 4:53 am ¶
[…] […]
on June 8th, 2007 at 6:23 am ¶
[…] Deberían rconfigurar mejor su cuenta de adsense… (vía 18 Things You Didn’t Know You Could Find on Ebay) […]
on July 17th, 2007 at 7:23 am ¶
Are those ads off of ABC Search? I came across something similar on Kanoodle back in April: http://blog.searchanyway.com/2007/04/ebay_still_selling_slaves_msn.html
on July 29th, 2007 at 4:28 am ¶
[…] This explains why a lot of them claim certain theories which any successful linkbaiter would know to be wrong. In this instance the author claims that he tried numerous times to have success with linkbaiting, and he succeeded once: The sole success. […]
on September 17th, 2007 at 7:18 am ¶
OMG, i don’t know these ads are happening on ebay.
Isn’t time for them to sweep the floor?